“You just don’t understand!” is something usually uttered by a frustrated teenager and is typically followed by said teen stomping off and the slamming of the door to their room. If you’re a parent, you’ve likely heard this more than once from a frustrated, angry teen.

Teens do not or cannot recognize that – once upon a time – we too were teenagers and, largely, we felt the same feelings they are now. We have been in similar circumstances to those they are in now but – since our experiences happened decades before them – we don’t have credibility because the passage of time seemingly negates our ability to empathize with our kids.

Why is being understood so important?

According to Psychology Today magazine, being understood is a critical piece of the human experience. From Psychology Today: “Without experiencing that others know us, or are able to, we’re left feeling alone — at times, despairingly so. It’s a bleak place to be and can lead to feelings of emptiness and despondency. In such a state, we’re even vulnerable to taking our lives. Enduring feelings of acute isolation from others can make our existence feel like a sham.”

This can be especially true for incarcerated men who already are dealing with situations and circumstances that others may not ever experience that led them to making decisions that landed them behind bars AND the belief that even fewer people can comprehend what life is like on a day-to-day basis behind bars.

However, one powerful aspect of our prison discipleship program is the life experience of my husband, Tony Cash. Not one person with a straight face or any credibility can say Tony doesn’t understand what it feels like to be incarcerated or to be struggling with issues that put them behind bars.

Tony, once an inmate himself, spent nearly four decades behind bars and a combined 20 of those years in solitary confinement. Tony knows first-hand inmate’s thoughts, fears, challenges, and their struggles. He has walked in their shoes and has a unique and powerful understanding of their needs, both physical and spiritual.

Tony’s story is one that resonates with these incarcerated men and is an inspirational example of what can be accomplished by submitting their lives to God. God did not waste Tony’s years of incarceration but rather used them to give Tony a unique and powerful perspective on how to best approach and mentor these men. This God given discernment has provided the ministry with credibility with those being served.

The men we serve gravitate toward Tony. Tony is deadly serious when he shares the dark path he used to walk and – no matter what he did – could not break free of the thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors that led him to re-offend again and again until he fully surrendered his life to Christ.

They want what he has – and not just physical freedom – but the peace, hope, and joy Tony enjoys because of what God has done in his life. As someone close to the ministry said, “Tony has gone from being a man no one would want to meet in a dark alley to one you would love to have in your corner.”

Tony’s transformation has not gone unnoticed by the men we serve or the church community as a whole. It is an amazing thing to watch the heads nod of the prisoners as they listen to Tony’s experiences prior to his transformation. You can also see the men’s faces and body language soften, realizing the man speaking to them understands exactly what they themselves are going through.

It is the fact that Tony understands what their experiences are that allows these incarcerated men to lower their guard, to fully open up to Tony about their individual struggles, and to be receptive to the Gospel.

Then for these men to who we minister there is perhaps the most powerful example of God’s ability to transform hearts and make us new creations – Tony’s ordination as a minister last July through Southeast Christian Church. 

Since his ordination, Tony has accepted the role of on-call minister at the prison facility. You can imagine the surprise of inmates meeting Tony for the first time, learning that this man spent decades in prison and is now not only a man of God but an ordained minister to boot. Talk about making a strong first impression!

Tony’s being a minister makes an impression. Tony’s understanding their plight makes an impact. And it is because of the impression and the impact we can – with God’s providence – introduce the Gospel, introduce the mindset of being free even while incarcerated, and introduce behaviors and attitudes which can not only lead them to a relationship with Christ but a disciple maker for the Kingdom. Just like Tony.

This purposeful approach also sums up the foundation of the ministry work we do through these two organizations: Team Expansion and Freedom Lake. 

Nothing about our approach occurs by accident or without purpose. As a result, the success and direction of the men in our discipleship program has been noticed by administrative leadership of the facility in which we serve.

Tony’s story not only has an impact on the inmates but his story coupled with the men’s lives we’re changing has gotten the attention, respect, and trust of the facility director. This has led to greater opportunities to partner with the facility and take our efforts to a deeper level. Praise God!

“You just don’t understand” is not a phrase we typically hear from the men in prison and; therefore, has led us to being able to create a living “proof of concept” for the divine power of spiritual growth, discipleship, and mentorship that is taught by Tony inside and outside the prison system.

Freedom Lake, a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization which Tony and I founded (you can read that God story here!), is the next phase of our ministry because what we also understand is the most pressing issue facing the men in this ministry is the chaotic and demonic environment they are dropped into once released from prison. Many of the transitional houses they are destined for are bug infested, stressful, drug and illicit sex filled cesspools. The men go from a prison that has some order, discipline and routine to an environment with none of these safeguards. 

A man released from prison often goes back to the same environment that led them to incarceration in the first place. We plan to address this issue with Freedom Lake managed housing. We plan to break this cycle by the power of the Holy Spirit. 

Our plan is ambitious. Our mission is clear.

Taking Jesus’ Great Commission to incarcerated men by teaching them to be disciples who make disciples, building them up to be godly men, providing support systems to help them in their walk upon release, thereby reducing recidivism in our local communities and creating a system that anyone, anywhere can replicate.

In the coming months, you’ll see how God is leading us to do that as God unfolds His will for this journey that will reveal the impact His mercy and grace has on these men, their families, and the communities in our area.